Make a New Plan Stan.....

I've been living abroad nearly two years now. Now that my time here is winding down, I'm looking toward my future for the first time ever. Where will I go, what will I do? Blah, blah, blah, the things most people dwell upon.

In February my contract at Wonkwang University will end and I will be traveling to Thailand and Laos for a month or so with two buddies. Then what?!

In April I'll head home to OKC to see friends and family before I make my next adventure. I'll be driving across the country and hopefully up the western coast to Portland to call the Evergreen Pacific Northwest my new home. Oklahoma is a 'great place to raise your kids', that's always what you hear from people. Which is just an excuse to never leave. Some people live perfectly satisfactory lives in conservative middle America, I'm not that person.

Job? Dear lord, I wish I knew. Everyone keeps talking about the job situation in America, 'why would you go back, there are no jobs'. Well come on folks, I'm American, shouldn't I go back at some point? This may sound completely strange and random but I'm going to try and break into the voice over artist industry. They are they guys who do the radio commercials, sportscasting, cartoon voices. I know, random right? I have a buddy in town that has a friend that does this job and he claims that I have more talent than he does (due to hearing me at open mic nights). So, I'll give it a try, if it doesn't work out then I'll do something else.

Winding Down and Wound Up

Twenty months......twenty months I have lived abroad. I now have many friends asking me, 'why?'. 'Why are you leaving?'. I miss my home and it's time to face reality I say. I have made many friends that I will never forget, I have learned more about myself in the last year than I could have ever done with so many distractions in America. I strive to become respectable, someone who has control over his impulses and vices. I read on occasion, exercise regularly, I am engaged in daily international news by the basis of personal interest as opposed to being told to by a professor. I think the time has come for me to take more visual steps on my growth now. When people ask me about my plans when I move I simply shrug and tell them I plan on moving to Portland. After the repetetive interogative, 'why?', I respond by painted a mental image on the greenery of the Pacific Northwest and the free-thinking enviornment that is as comforting as a fleece blanket on a cold morning.

I have some ideas on what jobs I will take when I get there though my mother persists on informing me of the lack of opportunities and of course she thrives on reminding me of the dismal weather in the reigon. I have full confidence that I have the experience and persona that attracts interviewers. Not only is it my charm and leadership ability that gives me these ensuing carefree emotions, but I also have my salary standards set quite low. ^^

I am unbelievably excited for my next adventure, it stirs in my mind almost constantly. In four months or so I will be home visiting long lost friends and shortly after I'll be blazing my own trail in my much missed Honda on a sure to be spiritual highway journey to Oregon.

Star Crossed Lovers? Well, Ocean Crossed Anyway....

I now feel I can fully explain what it means to have a Korean romance. I have been dating a Korean woman here and though for many months it has been casual the last two have seem to become more substantial. The first question I get is, how do you two communicate? Initially, our conversations were very low level and never delved into deep discussions due to a language barrier. With time her ability in English and my attempts at picking up basic Korean allowed us to share more.

Its difficult to date someone when you both have the understanding that your relationship has an expiration date. I am referring to my contract with my job which ends in April and my visa coincides with my contract. So, when the contract ends, I must leave Korea or find another job. This is obviously a constant topic of discussion with us.

My philosophy with this dilemma is the same as my beliefs on living with my Epilepsy. I could hide at my mother's house and live in fear, waiting for a seizure to take my life OR I could do what I'm doing now, live my life, travel the world, jump out of planes or off bridges or any of the million amazing experiences I've gone out of my way to have in the last five years since my diagnosis. I refuse to let possible outcomes control my decisions, whether they be death or the demise of my relationships.

I never thought dating someone from such a different culture would be so stimulating. I know that had I not met her my experience in Korea would not be as meaningful. I feel like every time we meet she teaches me something new, its like reading a book on culture. I hope she is having the same rewarding feeling. Most teachers spend time partying and occasionally dipping into the cultural opportunities that lie here. I'm not saying that I don't have drinks with friends, all I am trying to say is I'm thankful for her. I had second thoughts on trying to date the locals, assuming I would have nothing in common. I knew we would have nothing to talk about. But, as it turns out I was well wrong.

She is as intelligent as she is beautiful. Her English ability has elevated beyond belief, even when I know my pronunciation is lazed and I'm mumbling, she still understands. Is she in uni or what's her job is other usual question. She owns/operates a boutique that sells vintage clothing and she chooses all the clothes herself and works well over 60 hours a week.

One thing that is difficult to understand is Korean family. When dating a Korean as a foreigner you can't expect to meet the family and play farkle on Sundays. Even when Koreans are dating each other, they don't meet each others' family until they have decided to marry. Weird right? Being someone who enjoys being part of their significant others family, this is not fun for me. I do know her brother who is my age and her older sister. She's 28 by the way.

So what to do now? Like I said, after dating for nine months things have progressed. I don't pretend to know what will happen but I'm enjoying time with her now. Even if I leave here without her I know this has been one for the books and I'm glad we are having a good time.

North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe...

That's a Billy Joel reference for anyone who didn't get my title of this blog. Last weekend I took a trip with nine of my buds to the DMZ in the far North East corner of South Korea in the Gangwon Provence. I had to wake up at 4:30 AM, take a three hour bus ride to Seoul, and then we took another three hour bus ride to a remote region. We stopped at a couple seedy museums along the way, walked through a small leaky tunnel used for supplies during the Korean civil war, and an observation tower to get a good view of the actual DMZ.


As you can probably tell from my pictures we were in no immediate danger and the soldiers we met were more of a novelty than anything. Imagine going to Disneyland and instead of taking pics with Mickey, you take pictures with smiling ROK soldiers shouldering machine guns.

For anyone who doesn't know the DMZ is a two kilometer buffer zone between North Korea and South Korea, this area is a window into past.



There was a time long before skyscrapers, high rise apartments, Starbucks, and McDonald's. The demilitarized zone offers insight to what the world was like prior to commercial takeover. There are plush mountains full with greenery that I've never seen. It was the most beautiful sight I've seen here in Korea. Amazing that a place where so many lives were lost now holds a different perspective.





After leaving the DMZ area, we ventured off to some real danger, bungee jumping! I went skydiving in Colorado with my friends once and though some people might think that gives you some confidence, you would be wrong. Skydiving for the first time gives you a crutch and you don't have to do anything but go along for the ride.

Bungee jumping on the other hand forces you to actually leap off on your own. We jumped off a bridge with a plunge of over 160 feet with nothing but about two feet of water beneath you. Scary stuff!

All in all the trip was great, we had amazing food at the homestay and even though the DMZ wasn't as exciting as had hoped, I couldn't have asked for better company. Every day that passes here I become ever more aware of how much I will miss everyone here and the opportunities we have to travel at will at little cost or stress.

Tulips

From the time I was born until I was nearly seven I lived in a rural area outside of Memphis. My parents are both from southern California and moved there to escape city life and be closer to my Grandfather who had failing health at the time. My father explained to me that he wanted to live a more natural life and grow a garden. My mother and he had vegetables growing near our home and I remember distinctly that my mother grew red and yellow tulips, I was always interested in these flowers for some reason. I was drawn to how bright the colors were and how much my mother valued them.

Today I was in a taxi coming from the international food store picking up my Thai food essentials and as the cab came to a halt at a red light my peripheral vision picked up something radiant to my right. There is little grass and greenery in this country but there before me was a plethera of red and yellow tulips. Instantly I was transported to memories of seeing my mother's tulips in her garden. I couldn't help to consider my journey from the flowers that bloomed in our country home to the magnificent display in front of me.

You see, the tulips are a representation of how far I have come and yet remained the same. I consider myself to be a man that enjoys the simple pleasures of laughter amoungst friends and intellectual or meaningless conversation. As a child I always had a vivid imagination and now those wondering thoughts have blossomed into constant deep thoughts of the world, relationships, and where this life has taken me.

These last few weeks I feel as though I have been easily aggitated. I nearly got into a fight with a Korean college student that sweerved at me with his car this week, perhaps I was right to feel compelled to give a strong tongue lashing and a pound on his car after I sprinted to the red light that halted him. After I came home from my confrontation I was contimplating my actions wishing had been more physical and looking back thinking, 'I should have pulled him out of his car and truly hurt him'.

I have now come to the realization that I need to find my center and remember that such actions would prove nothing. Now that Erica has moved so far from me I have had alot of time to think about myself, I do miss her and I'm sad that she is gone but I'm thankful for this opportunity to discover myself and learn more about who I am. I am ever blessed for this opportunity to develop my shortcomings and become the person that I want to be and move on to plant my own tulips some day.

Settle my Seoul, settle my spirit

I went home for Christmas not entirely sure of what I wanted to do the next year. I wasn't sure if I should stay in Korea or come home. I was home for about two days when I dawned on me that I have been blessed to be living in bliss for the last nine months. The most important thing in our lives is happiness. When I was home I felt stressed and the financial burden that America brings. I'm not ready to move on to the real world quite yet.

I'm going to stay here for another year after my contract ends in March. Its time for me to get serious about saving money so I can return home and start some kind of life without the heavy burden of student loans and credit card bills.

Being home in Yukon was to say the least boring at times though I was happy to see my mother. Going to Edmond reminded me most of being with Barbie. That's the biggest memory I have in Edmond. That little house we had was a home and I have far more good memories there than bad. One thing that you have to cope with the most when living abroad is the idea that relationships ending in happiness are few and far between. You think about dating a foreigner and then what? The odds that you're from the same country or even the same state are slim to nothing. Dating a Korean is a difficult task, not one for the faint of heart or impatient. I have found ways to maintain and my happiness is in tact.

Korean culture is very free in many ways. I don't feel the pressure from authorities or my peers. There are good people here for the most part. Living in this town is similar to living in a small country town, everyone knows everyones business but its still a grand time. I do my best to stay out of the limelight but that's not always an easy task.

Basically I'm staying here because ultimately I am happy and my job is very relaxed and fun. I also have the opportunity to make good on my debts, most of which are a reflection of poor choices I've made in the last five years. I think I need to write this blog more, it really is very theraputic. Oh, and my New Year's resolution is to be nicer to my friends. I found in the last few months that I am too sarcastic and rude to my friends. Erica and I were discussing this on the walk home from work last night. I tried to explain that I am that way due to my family's inability to express true compassion, our general way of nurturing is emotional torment. Strange, I know, but we are a family that has been forced to build walls to protect ourselves from heartache. I have witnessed my friends shutdown on my behalf and I'm going to really make an effort to be more positive in life and in my friends lives.

Six Months In

Not many embark on the adventure I'm on. I can honestly say this is the bravest thing I've done and I'm grateful I came. That being said, my contract is six months old and therefore I have less than six months to make a decision on staying or not. My buddy Brandon went on to find a great job at another uni and is a hell of job. I'm thinking of applying to get on there if I can, maybe apply at a couple other jobs and if I can make better money and more vacation I'm going to probably take it. I do miss home often and miss friends and think of possible missed opportunities, I met cool people shortly before coming here and I wish I could have explored those relationships more, but fate intervened.

Staying here is always on my mind and everyone home is still talking about how wretched the job market is so it makes me think I should probably just stay here and pay off some debt for a little while longer. But then I see guys that have really dug their feet in the ground here, bought cars, homes, and even married korean women. This weekend was spendt in Seoul at a kickboxing tournament with Mathew, Dan, and Paul. Paul has been here nearly for over five years and is very settled. He's got it in my head now that I need to buy a cheap bike to help me explore more. And I want to, I'm sick of going to the same foreigner bar every Friday night, I want new places and new experiences. After being here for six months you start to become more involved in people's lives in the foreign community which sounds great and can be, but some relationships have changed for the worse. I think I just really need to remember that no situation is perfect and even if I went home I would have blue days. Frankly I should probably just quit my complaining and make the most of my situation and put a smile on my face, after all I do love my job and I don't have to worry about money right now which is a first.

Its weird though, I never thought I would miss America as a country, but I do. I love my country, talk as much trash as you want whether you're American or not but its a great place in comparison to other parts of the world. Nothing is set in stone here, I could very well be living back home in six months, time will tell. Some of the best advice I ever got was from my father, he said, 'if you're not happy, then why are you doing it?', I think about the simplicity of that philosophy and try to apply it in any situation where I feel unsatisfied. I know what I need to know, I only need to decide what will make me the happiest. Just because I might have to go home and live a little tighter financial I could still be happier, eh who the hell knows, for now its bed time in Iksan, South Korea. Good Night Moon.....