Tulips

From the time I was born until I was nearly seven I lived in a rural area outside of Memphis. My parents are both from southern California and moved there to escape city life and be closer to my Grandfather who had failing health at the time. My father explained to me that he wanted to live a more natural life and grow a garden. My mother and he had vegetables growing near our home and I remember distinctly that my mother grew red and yellow tulips, I was always interested in these flowers for some reason. I was drawn to how bright the colors were and how much my mother valued them.

Today I was in a taxi coming from the international food store picking up my Thai food essentials and as the cab came to a halt at a red light my peripheral vision picked up something radiant to my right. There is little grass and greenery in this country but there before me was a plethera of red and yellow tulips. Instantly I was transported to memories of seeing my mother's tulips in her garden. I couldn't help to consider my journey from the flowers that bloomed in our country home to the magnificent display in front of me.

You see, the tulips are a representation of how far I have come and yet remained the same. I consider myself to be a man that enjoys the simple pleasures of laughter amoungst friends and intellectual or meaningless conversation. As a child I always had a vivid imagination and now those wondering thoughts have blossomed into constant deep thoughts of the world, relationships, and where this life has taken me.

These last few weeks I feel as though I have been easily aggitated. I nearly got into a fight with a Korean college student that sweerved at me with his car this week, perhaps I was right to feel compelled to give a strong tongue lashing and a pound on his car after I sprinted to the red light that halted him. After I came home from my confrontation I was contimplating my actions wishing had been more physical and looking back thinking, 'I should have pulled him out of his car and truly hurt him'.

I have now come to the realization that I need to find my center and remember that such actions would prove nothing. Now that Erica has moved so far from me I have had alot of time to think about myself, I do miss her and I'm sad that she is gone but I'm thankful for this opportunity to discover myself and learn more about who I am. I am ever blessed for this opportunity to develop my shortcomings and become the person that I want to be and move on to plant my own tulips some day.