I was riding the KTX for a trip to Costco today and I had a sad moment. I'm on this life journey and I feel a desire and need to be here and travel the world using Korea as my first stepping stone. I knew that coming here would be difficult at times at being away from friends and family would be harder than I could know. I was people watching Koreans on the train and across from me were two boys one asleep in his mother's lap and another with his head nestled on his father's shoulder. They were both younger than Max is now but it reminded me of Max's smile and the comfort it brings to my heart having him in my life.
I wasn't able to see him often back home but knowing that I will see once once in the next year had my eyes a tad watery. I guess the hardest part is thinking about the way his face changes every day and he grows physically and mentally so quickly at his age makes it hard. I want to be there for him and answer all his questions and tell him stories and make him laugh but I can't.
There are many sacrifices that go with this way of life. I've had dreams lately of friends and I become startled in the middle of the night, when I wake up it's instantly real that I'm not back home and I can't call my friends to go hang out and my day is a little gloomy afterwards. I have had more fun in the last three months than I ever imagined I would have so I am thankful for this experience but people that are thinking of coming should know thoughts of those living this reality. Also, perhaps Max can look online someday and find this and realize how I felt about him and how important his life is to me and our family. I love you Max. I love you Mom and Erin.
Its lonely sometimes but the excitement is more prevalent than the anguish of solitude.
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