As My Mind Wanders.....

At night I ponder my life. I sit in this tiny apartment 7,000 miles from home assuring myself that I'm in the right place. I'm having alot of fun here folks but this phase of homesickness is getting to me. What's worse is when I get this way, I only want to be more secluded. I confine myself to my room and get real grumpy with people. More than a couple of people have let me know that my attitude is quite moody. I think what makes it hard for me is my contacts from home are becoming more loose. Mom and I talk once or twice a week, Erin and I talk every other week, and I talk to my Dad once every six weeks or so.

I know I could make a bigger effort to reach out to them but I still get bummed thinking that I rarely hear from friends back home. I was told that it would happen too, that I would realize who really cared and who could do without my friendship and contact. To top it off my car that I've been letting a family member borrow (w/o insurance) was apparently wrecked two weeks ago. Sounds like it could have been minor but there was suspension damage. I just found cuz Mom didn't want to worry me....

I am going to Thailand and maybe Laos or Cambodia in August. Its really my biggest focus right now. After all, Korea is a stepping stone for me to backpack for a few months. The most exciting part will be doing it solo. Lately I've been reminded of how much Jim Arwood is a part of me, oh how I adore my solitude.

Anyway maybe now I can sleep having put these thoughts down and having buzzed my head (which happens about every 6 months) I feel clean and better about things.

Iksan-Korean Fortress of Solitude

I was riding the KTX for a trip to Costco today and I had a sad moment. I'm on this life journey and I feel a desire and need to be here and travel the world using Korea as my first stepping stone. I knew that coming here would be difficult at times at being away from friends and family would be harder than I could know.

I was people watching Koreans on the train and across from me were two boys one asleep in his mother's lap and another with his head nestled on his father's shoulder. They were both younger than Max is now but it reminded me of Max's smile and the comfort it brings to my heart having him in my life.

I wasn't able to see him often back home but knowing that I will see once once in the next year had my eyes a tad watery. I guess the hardest part is thinking about the way his face changes every day and he grows physically and mentally so quickly at his age makes it hard. I want to be there for him and answer all his questions and tell him stories and make him laugh but I can't.

There are many sacrifices that go with this way of life. I've had dreams lately of friends and I become startled in the middle of the night, when I wake up it's instantly real that I'm not back home and I can't call my friends to go hang out and my day is a little gloomy afterwards. I have had more fun in the last three months than I ever imagined I would have so I am thankful for this experience but people that are thinking of coming should know thoughts of those living this reality. Also, perhaps Max can look online someday and find this and realize how I felt about him and how important his life is to me and our family. I love you Max. I love you Mom and Erin.

Its lonely sometimes but the excitement is more prevalent than the anguish of solitude.

North Korea Shmorth Korea

I know a lot of friends and family are becoming increasingly concerned about what is happening in North Korea. I'm writing this entry to put them at ease and also to share a little bit about what I have learned about the North. I was let in on some of the differences in the North and South today by my students and couple examples are the lack of religion and the cultural differences in language. North Korea is like a home-schooled child, at home with their parents things seem normal but when released into the wild they show obvious signs of awkward dysfunction. If a South Korean attempted to talk with a North Korean, the North Korean would be very confused by the South Korean's lingo and phrasing. North Korean has stuck to its traditional language and has not change much since 1953. South Korea on the other hand has had the western world to influence its business dealings, diplomacy, military, and even education since the end of the Korean War. More specifically the U.S. holds a strong military presence here along with thousands of foreigners that teach ESL like myself.

My students made it clear that Kim Jong Ill would like nothing more than to unify his Korean countrymen into one glorious nation-state but he would dare not do such a thing with American swine infecting half of the peninsula. All the bullshit with nukes and journalist captives is a ploy to get attention from the U.S. (which usually works) and persuade them to politely leave the country (which will never happen). Its really quite simple then, Mr. Kim wants us out and to re-unite the nation. Funny though, I highly doubt these folks want to be a part of his regime. South Korea does just fine economically and with the fall of GM and Chrysler soon to fall, I'm sure the car companies here are about to get even busier.

I just wanted to give you folks a little background of what the fuss is about and that there's no need to worry. I don't know any Koreans that concern themselves with news on North Korea so I don't see that any of you should either. The best comparison I could make is an Oklahomans reaction to a tornado siren, a shrug of the shoulders, possibly check the TV to see if you're going to be in the path and then go on about your business.

Street Walkin Man

I left home ten weeks ago not fully knowing what to expect here. Knowing that I knew nothing was actually something. I have embraced this culture and my way of life. I majored in education thinking I could never live a life without the burden of wondering how I would pay for things. Here I shop, eat, and enjoy life without a care in the world as far as money is concerned.

Korea holds their ESL teachers in high regard therefore, I get to see all that this country has to offer me. The sacrifice is the loneliness and emptiness you feel when wish you could take a quick drive to see your mom on Sunday or have a beer and play darts with the guys. I am learning about myself but for god's sakes its really hitting me. I had a friggin nightmare last night that I was in a foreign country and couldn't come back. I know these feelings are normal by talking to other foreigners but I just wanted to throw some thoughts on here to let you people know that I'm missing you all terribly but I am enjoying my time and wouldn't trade it for anything.

When I return someday, I'll be a new man with enlightenment at my side and memories of foreign places that I will carry with me forever.

SHHHHUUUUUDDDDDAAAAAAAPPPP!!!!!

So there I was watching Kindergarden Cop thinking, 'Arnold, I totally feel you'. Man, kids were kicking me in the pants daily, everyday I wonder how I'm going to fill 45 minutes by explaining six words that they already know. And hell, getting the little jerks to sit down and be quiet is like wrestling a lion, a tiger, and a bear, except they're three feet tall and speak jibberish.

It has seriously been stressing me out every day but last night I had some awesome Cabernat-Shiraz inspired conversation with Brandon. Brandon is a very bright Canadian and a History major. We share alot of the same thoughts on life adventures, romance, and most importantly enlightenment.

We shared more than a glass or two last night after our poker game in Marcus' room and he gave me confidence that in time I will find my way. Since I was about 16 I've had a deep need to be the best at every job or anything new I jump into. I know that soon I will not have any trouble with this job and I will be giving others insightful advice. Today, I had a breakthrough.

Instead of barking orders and trying to be tough the whole class I used my chill voice, playing Jack Johnson and Ben Harper in the background of my class and never raising my voice allowed me to walk out of class with a smile. So, in short my funk is ending and I really just need to hit the gym and eat better so I can enjoy my time better. My shit attitude is imposing on my experience here and I need to meet every day with open arms.

From my new favorite book, The Razor's Edge, "I'm on the threshold. I see vast lands of the spirit stretching out before me, beckoning, and I'm eager to travel them. It's a toss up when you decide to leave the beaten track. Many are called but few are chose."

Jeonju Hashers: A Group of Drinkers With a Running Problem

Yesterday, I went to Jeonju for what is called a Hash. Apparently this an event that people participate in worldwide, personally I had no idea what it was. So if you are as ignorant on the term as I am here is what my day consisted of. I woke up at about eleven and Marcus, his girlfriend, Erica, Isaac and myself headed to Jeonju for the Hash. Me met with Tori and Greg, had a little BeeBimBop bought some wine and threw it into a backpack and met with some people that are regular 'Hashers'.

I met a British woman named Raveena or Highly Strung(her Hash name) and she gave me an explanation as to why I was thirty miles from home (okay so maybe more like 7000 from but 30 from my apartment) on a cold windy day. She explained that she and her husband led the Hash group for Jeonju and they were a group that went on treks through hills, neighborhoods, random buildings through the town. In a nutshell a Hash is an organized jogging session with many urban obstacles and you must keep a look out for Hashes or chalked arrows through out the town. If you go down the wrong path then the fun of the Hash is finding the path again. This trek we took was probably four miles, half of which was uphill on a mountain. Most Hashers run this trail but for myself and my friends we walked, enjoyed the views and some cheap Bordeaux from the local Mini-Mart. But why a run/walk? Why do these people insist on meeting no matter what the elements provide? Warren, a South Africa, had one explanation I found very positive. He said it was a way for foreigners to come together and bond. It is way to for us to say no matter how few of us there are in this country, we will seek each other out and have our fun and in great numbers no less. This particular Hash had at least twenty people from Iksan, Jeonju, and Seoul.

Once you reach the end, the walkers finally reconvene with thr runners and have a picnic. The picnic consisted of potstickers, beer, and sodas. After some good grub is consumed they all gather in a circle and sing short chants or songs about various things, one of which being Hash virgins. Myself and all my friends were new to the Hash and we had to stand in front of the group, introduce ourselves. In all honesty it was entertaining for the first thirty minutes but the songs dragged on for at least an hour and a half AHHHHHHHH!

Later in the evening they all meet again and have some drinks and dinner together to top off the day with a large amount of alchohol and hugs. Will I do it again? Eh, maybe, but I'm certainly glad that I went. The End....

I'll have more soon, I'm getting strange feelings and I'm not sure but something is wrong with me right now, so as soon as I figure out this funk I'm in I'll explain it.

Good To The Last Drip

This weekend was an adventure to say the very least. On Friday it was Brandon's birthday and we had a nice little time at the local foreigner bar Red Rock. As I was laying in bed and Mr. Jack Daniels was letting know how mean his sour mash after effects were, Brandon comes to my door to remind me that there was a bachelor party that night and if I was still interested they would be leaving in an hour. UGH! Though I thought going to a movie might be the more responsible thing to do but my curiosity and virile spirit had me in the shower and lacing up my chucks.

We met up with seven other guys that included, Irishmen, Scots, Canadians, and even a couple Americans with the same curious nature including the man of the evening Travis, a physics teacher in China from Newfoundland. His best man also from Newfoundland, named, Paul had quite the little game planned. He gave us all laminated cards to wear around our necks that had a list of 'to-do's' for each objective you got a sticker. You see we were on a serious competition for the evening. Some examples would be, get three kisses from girls and get two stickers or for each beer/shot you slam you get a sticker (can you tell that we are all teachers yet?) and if you do some other ridiculous act that we all agree is dysfunctional and hilarious, you also get some points. So, we hopped on a train to the 5th biggest town in Korea, Gwangju.

On the train we were already into trouble, being silenced by the train ambassador numerous times, only because we were speaking English, not because we were being too loud. Typical circumstances for being in a foreign land. We got our hotel room once we stepped on the Gangju and set out on our night on the town.

We started on a street corner near a Mini-Mart (quick access to alcohol) pulled a random table sitting on the street up and began watching the 'coffee girls'. You see, in Gwangju, there is a unique culture of prostitution run by gangsters. You order 'coffee' and if you like what she has to offer then you make a negotiation, if not, then you pay for the coffee. So, if your into Maxwell House or venereal diseases, your senses can be cured in Gwangju. After darkness hit this town filled with sin, we hit up a traditional Korean restaurant and had some grub, more laughs, and probably too much rice liquor or Soju.

Brandon and I were pretty stuck on having one hell of a good time and though some of the fellas had a little drama, we held our own, we burned past the midnight owls, I obnoxiously obtained pecks on my hairy face from foriengers. Korean girls refused to even reply to my hellos but two did direct us to a nightclub. The SUPER CLUB HOUZE, why they always get the little spelling wrong I have no idea, but B and I walked three floors beneath the Earth into a disco with two thousand Koreans dancing their hearts out, we scared most of them away but managed to get a couple to dance with us...well more like near us.

We called it a night and got to the hotel at about 5 am and crashed. Around 11 am, I heard a knock on the door, I opened my steel eye lids and past the image of my red eyes in the headboard mirror (ask about this and I'll explain its a long story), I saw a woman walking in. I assumed she was coming to ask us to leave so she could clean, Brandon was a little disoriented himself and had no answers to my questions. I leaned over and saw her pulling out a thermos and cups. IT WAS A FREAKING COFFEE GIRL!!! So, we had some coffee and after her pimp who thought he was intimidating us standing all of 5'8'' and weighing in at a strikingly petite 120 lbs with a pink shirt no less, we paid her and she left, THANKS FOR THE COFFEE! We passed on the VD, funny story but I wish a pizza guy had gotten lost instead! There's really another five pages to this story but I thought I would give the highlights. I made some new friends and established deeper roots with friends I have already made, overall this weekend was a blast. Until next time readers.....