Star Crossed Lovers? Well, Ocean Crossed Anyway....

I now feel I can fully explain what it means to have a Korean romance. I have been dating a Korean woman here and though for many months it has been casual the last two have seem to become more substantial. The first question I get is, how do you two communicate? Initially, our conversations were very low level and never delved into deep discussions due to a language barrier. With time her ability in English and my attempts at picking up basic Korean allowed us to share more.

Its difficult to date someone when you both have the understanding that your relationship has an expiration date. I am referring to my contract with my job which ends in April and my visa coincides with my contract. So, when the contract ends, I must leave Korea or find another job. This is obviously a constant topic of discussion with us.

My philosophy with this dilemma is the same as my beliefs on living with my Epilepsy. I could hide at my mother's house and live in fear, waiting for a seizure to take my life OR I could do what I'm doing now, live my life, travel the world, jump out of planes or off bridges or any of the million amazing experiences I've gone out of my way to have in the last five years since my diagnosis. I refuse to let possible outcomes control my decisions, whether they be death or the demise of my relationships.

I never thought dating someone from such a different culture would be so stimulating. I know that had I not met her my experience in Korea would not be as meaningful. I feel like every time we meet she teaches me something new, its like reading a book on culture. I hope she is having the same rewarding feeling. Most teachers spend time partying and occasionally dipping into the cultural opportunities that lie here. I'm not saying that I don't have drinks with friends, all I am trying to say is I'm thankful for her. I had second thoughts on trying to date the locals, assuming I would have nothing in common. I knew we would have nothing to talk about. But, as it turns out I was well wrong.

She is as intelligent as she is beautiful. Her English ability has elevated beyond belief, even when I know my pronunciation is lazed and I'm mumbling, she still understands. Is she in uni or what's her job is other usual question. She owns/operates a boutique that sells vintage clothing and she chooses all the clothes herself and works well over 60 hours a week.

One thing that is difficult to understand is Korean family. When dating a Korean as a foreigner you can't expect to meet the family and play farkle on Sundays. Even when Koreans are dating each other, they don't meet each others' family until they have decided to marry. Weird right? Being someone who enjoys being part of their significant others family, this is not fun for me. I do know her brother who is my age and her older sister. She's 28 by the way.

So what to do now? Like I said, after dating for nine months things have progressed. I don't pretend to know what will happen but I'm enjoying time with her now. Even if I leave here without her I know this has been one for the books and I'm glad we are having a good time.

North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe...

That's a Billy Joel reference for anyone who didn't get my title of this blog. Last weekend I took a trip with nine of my buds to the DMZ in the far North East corner of South Korea in the Gangwon Provence. I had to wake up at 4:30 AM, take a three hour bus ride to Seoul, and then we took another three hour bus ride to a remote region. We stopped at a couple seedy museums along the way, walked through a small leaky tunnel used for supplies during the Korean civil war, and an observation tower to get a good view of the actual DMZ.


As you can probably tell from my pictures we were in no immediate danger and the soldiers we met were more of a novelty than anything. Imagine going to Disneyland and instead of taking pics with Mickey, you take pictures with smiling ROK soldiers shouldering machine guns.

For anyone who doesn't know the DMZ is a two kilometer buffer zone between North Korea and South Korea, this area is a window into past.



There was a time long before skyscrapers, high rise apartments, Starbucks, and McDonald's. The demilitarized zone offers insight to what the world was like prior to commercial takeover. There are plush mountains full with greenery that I've never seen. It was the most beautiful sight I've seen here in Korea. Amazing that a place where so many lives were lost now holds a different perspective.





After leaving the DMZ area, we ventured off to some real danger, bungee jumping! I went skydiving in Colorado with my friends once and though some people might think that gives you some confidence, you would be wrong. Skydiving for the first time gives you a crutch and you don't have to do anything but go along for the ride.

Bungee jumping on the other hand forces you to actually leap off on your own. We jumped off a bridge with a plunge of over 160 feet with nothing but about two feet of water beneath you. Scary stuff!

All in all the trip was great, we had amazing food at the homestay and even though the DMZ wasn't as exciting as had hoped, I couldn't have asked for better company. Every day that passes here I become ever more aware of how much I will miss everyone here and the opportunities we have to travel at will at little cost or stress.

Tulips

From the time I was born until I was nearly seven I lived in a rural area outside of Memphis. My parents are both from southern California and moved there to escape city life and be closer to my Grandfather who had failing health at the time. My father explained to me that he wanted to live a more natural life and grow a garden. My mother and he had vegetables growing near our home and I remember distinctly that my mother grew red and yellow tulips, I was always interested in these flowers for some reason. I was drawn to how bright the colors were and how much my mother valued them.

Today I was in a taxi coming from the international food store picking up my Thai food essentials and as the cab came to a halt at a red light my peripheral vision picked up something radiant to my right. There is little grass and greenery in this country but there before me was a plethera of red and yellow tulips. Instantly I was transported to memories of seeing my mother's tulips in her garden. I couldn't help to consider my journey from the flowers that bloomed in our country home to the magnificent display in front of me.

You see, the tulips are a representation of how far I have come and yet remained the same. I consider myself to be a man that enjoys the simple pleasures of laughter amoungst friends and intellectual or meaningless conversation. As a child I always had a vivid imagination and now those wondering thoughts have blossomed into constant deep thoughts of the world, relationships, and where this life has taken me.

These last few weeks I feel as though I have been easily aggitated. I nearly got into a fight with a Korean college student that sweerved at me with his car this week, perhaps I was right to feel compelled to give a strong tongue lashing and a pound on his car after I sprinted to the red light that halted him. After I came home from my confrontation I was contimplating my actions wishing had been more physical and looking back thinking, 'I should have pulled him out of his car and truly hurt him'.

I have now come to the realization that I need to find my center and remember that such actions would prove nothing. Now that Erica has moved so far from me I have had alot of time to think about myself, I do miss her and I'm sad that she is gone but I'm thankful for this opportunity to discover myself and learn more about who I am. I am ever blessed for this opportunity to develop my shortcomings and become the person that I want to be and move on to plant my own tulips some day.

Settle my Seoul, settle my spirit

I went home for Christmas not entirely sure of what I wanted to do the next year. I wasn't sure if I should stay in Korea or come home. I was home for about two days when I dawned on me that I have been blessed to be living in bliss for the last nine months. The most important thing in our lives is happiness. When I was home I felt stressed and the financial burden that America brings. I'm not ready to move on to the real world quite yet.

I'm going to stay here for another year after my contract ends in March. Its time for me to get serious about saving money so I can return home and start some kind of life without the heavy burden of student loans and credit card bills.

Being home in Yukon was to say the least boring at times though I was happy to see my mother. Going to Edmond reminded me most of being with Barbie. That's the biggest memory I have in Edmond. That little house we had was a home and I have far more good memories there than bad. One thing that you have to cope with the most when living abroad is the idea that relationships ending in happiness are few and far between. You think about dating a foreigner and then what? The odds that you're from the same country or even the same state are slim to nothing. Dating a Korean is a difficult task, not one for the faint of heart or impatient. I have found ways to maintain and my happiness is in tact.

Korean culture is very free in many ways. I don't feel the pressure from authorities or my peers. There are good people here for the most part. Living in this town is similar to living in a small country town, everyone knows everyones business but its still a grand time. I do my best to stay out of the limelight but that's not always an easy task.

Basically I'm staying here because ultimately I am happy and my job is very relaxed and fun. I also have the opportunity to make good on my debts, most of which are a reflection of poor choices I've made in the last five years. I think I need to write this blog more, it really is very theraputic. Oh, and my New Year's resolution is to be nicer to my friends. I found in the last few months that I am too sarcastic and rude to my friends. Erica and I were discussing this on the walk home from work last night. I tried to explain that I am that way due to my family's inability to express true compassion, our general way of nurturing is emotional torment. Strange, I know, but we are a family that has been forced to build walls to protect ourselves from heartache. I have witnessed my friends shutdown on my behalf and I'm going to really make an effort to be more positive in life and in my friends lives.

Six Months In

Not many embark on the adventure I'm on. I can honestly say this is the bravest thing I've done and I'm grateful I came. That being said, my contract is six months old and therefore I have less than six months to make a decision on staying or not. My buddy Brandon went on to find a great job at another uni and is a hell of job. I'm thinking of applying to get on there if I can, maybe apply at a couple other jobs and if I can make better money and more vacation I'm going to probably take it. I do miss home often and miss friends and think of possible missed opportunities, I met cool people shortly before coming here and I wish I could have explored those relationships more, but fate intervened.

Staying here is always on my mind and everyone home is still talking about how wretched the job market is so it makes me think I should probably just stay here and pay off some debt for a little while longer. But then I see guys that have really dug their feet in the ground here, bought cars, homes, and even married korean women. This weekend was spendt in Seoul at a kickboxing tournament with Mathew, Dan, and Paul. Paul has been here nearly for over five years and is very settled. He's got it in my head now that I need to buy a cheap bike to help me explore more. And I want to, I'm sick of going to the same foreigner bar every Friday night, I want new places and new experiences. After being here for six months you start to become more involved in people's lives in the foreign community which sounds great and can be, but some relationships have changed for the worse. I think I just really need to remember that no situation is perfect and even if I went home I would have blue days. Frankly I should probably just quit my complaining and make the most of my situation and put a smile on my face, after all I do love my job and I don't have to worry about money right now which is a first.

Its weird though, I never thought I would miss America as a country, but I do. I love my country, talk as much trash as you want whether you're American or not but its a great place in comparison to other parts of the world. Nothing is set in stone here, I could very well be living back home in six months, time will tell. Some of the best advice I ever got was from my father, he said, 'if you're not happy, then why are you doing it?', I think about the simplicity of that philosophy and try to apply it in any situation where I feel unsatisfied. I know what I need to know, I only need to decide what will make me the happiest. Just because I might have to go home and live a little tighter financial I could still be happier, eh who the hell knows, for now its bed time in Iksan, South Korea. Good Night Moon.....

Take Four Months in Korea, And Call Me In The Morning

The most beneficial advice I recieved prior to my departure to Korea was from an unlikely source, my doctor. Dr. Thompson served in the Air Force and spent time here and gave great advice that I do my best to live by. He told me explicitely NOT to sit in my apartment, to get out and see the country. I think I've done pretty well at doing so I'be been to the Northern, Southern, and Western borders and shores. Today I had an invite to join some of the Iksan foreigners to see a professional soccer match in our neighboring city of Jeonju, about 20 miles away.

The stadium is rather impressive and held an olympic event and a world cup there as well. Once there we commenced with the suds consumption and great conversation. Its typical for the fans from Iksan to rent battery operated mini-bikes and ride around the front of the stadium.

The cost is a meesly 6,ooo won or less than $5 US for a general admission ticket. The game was a great time and you can see the atmosphere of the crowd from the video above, its a pretty intense match. I'm sure I will go again and my thanks goes out again to the great doctor and his righteous advice. Its bedtime now folks, I have a long day tomorrow :)

A Big Muddy Mess

For the past ten years or so a town named Boryeong has become famous for its annual festival simply named-Mud Fest. For the last couple of years over 1.5 million people show up here to spread this magical grey mud all over their bodies.

The mud is pumped from another location and is put in stations on the beach with brushes to paint yourself. There are also areas with slides and mud-wrestling. Usually in Korea when you get ready to go to some festival or island you become acustomed to being a little let down because its never what you pictured. But the mud fest was actual what I thought it would be. The mud was really soothing in a weird kind of way and I hadn't seen that many foreigners in months.

Barb came up from Busan and hitched a ride with Greggers. Its nice that she's here and I'm sad sometimes that she is so far away but when we do see each other we enjoy each other's company even more.

What are the accomodations?? Well my inquisitive audience of seven, basically you rented a small duplex of 700 sq feet with two bathrooms and slept 13 people on the floor. Even such modest quarters will cost you 30,000 won per person or $24 .

After Brandon, Kim, Barbs, and I all spent the afternoon getting muddy we walked back to the hotel and stumbled into a parade. This parade was

in the middle of the afternoon with virtually no audience. As a Korean man who was marching handed me a flag as though it was the 4th of July and old glory was being presented to a five year old, I realized......

Korea is so bizarre, and to be honest I'm not even surprised anymore by such random acts but I'm also aware that if I ever do land my feet back in the states, I'll miss the strange unorganized feel of this place.

The last experience was waking up next to a complete stranger. Barb, Brandon, Kim and I split a room and when we woke to Erica telling us it was time to leave, she asked about the guy laying next to Barbie. I told her I noticed him there a couple hours ago but had no idea. He slowly woke after hearing inquisitions to his current position. He demanded to know who we were and why we were in his room. I politely asked him to look around and see if he saw anyone he knew, and said I think you may have stumbled into the wrong room bud. He was quite embarassed and stood up in a t-shirt and underwear and said he was sorry and left.

Another weekend, another chapter opened and closed in the novel of my Korean adventure.