Settle my Seoul, settle my spirit

I went home for Christmas not entirely sure of what I wanted to do the next year. I wasn't sure if I should stay in Korea or come home. I was home for about two days when I dawned on me that I have been blessed to be living in bliss for the last nine months. The most important thing in our lives is happiness. When I was home I felt stressed and the financial burden that America brings. I'm not ready to move on to the real world quite yet.

I'm going to stay here for another year after my contract ends in March. Its time for me to get serious about saving money so I can return home and start some kind of life without the heavy burden of student loans and credit card bills.

Being home in Yukon was to say the least boring at times though I was happy to see my mother. Going to Edmond reminded me most of being with Barbie. That's the biggest memory I have in Edmond. That little house we had was a home and I have far more good memories there than bad. One thing that you have to cope with the most when living abroad is the idea that relationships ending in happiness are few and far between. You think about dating a foreigner and then what? The odds that you're from the same country or even the same state are slim to nothing. Dating a Korean is a difficult task, not one for the faint of heart or impatient. I have found ways to maintain and my happiness is in tact.

Korean culture is very free in many ways. I don't feel the pressure from authorities or my peers. There are good people here for the most part. Living in this town is similar to living in a small country town, everyone knows everyones business but its still a grand time. I do my best to stay out of the limelight but that's not always an easy task.

Basically I'm staying here because ultimately I am happy and my job is very relaxed and fun. I also have the opportunity to make good on my debts, most of which are a reflection of poor choices I've made in the last five years. I think I need to write this blog more, it really is very theraputic. Oh, and my New Year's resolution is to be nicer to my friends. I found in the last few months that I am too sarcastic and rude to my friends. Erica and I were discussing this on the walk home from work last night. I tried to explain that I am that way due to my family's inability to express true compassion, our general way of nurturing is emotional torment. Strange, I know, but we are a family that has been forced to build walls to protect ourselves from heartache. I have witnessed my friends shutdown on my behalf and I'm going to really make an effort to be more positive in life and in my friends lives.

Six Months In

Not many embark on the adventure I'm on. I can honestly say this is the bravest thing I've done and I'm grateful I came. That being said, my contract is six months old and therefore I have less than six months to make a decision on staying or not. My buddy Brandon went on to find a great job at another uni and is a hell of job. I'm thinking of applying to get on there if I can, maybe apply at a couple other jobs and if I can make better money and more vacation I'm going to probably take it. I do miss home often and miss friends and think of possible missed opportunities, I met cool people shortly before coming here and I wish I could have explored those relationships more, but fate intervened.

Staying here is always on my mind and everyone home is still talking about how wretched the job market is so it makes me think I should probably just stay here and pay off some debt for a little while longer. But then I see guys that have really dug their feet in the ground here, bought cars, homes, and even married korean women. This weekend was spendt in Seoul at a kickboxing tournament with Mathew, Dan, and Paul. Paul has been here nearly for over five years and is very settled. He's got it in my head now that I need to buy a cheap bike to help me explore more. And I want to, I'm sick of going to the same foreigner bar every Friday night, I want new places and new experiences. After being here for six months you start to become more involved in people's lives in the foreign community which sounds great and can be, but some relationships have changed for the worse. I think I just really need to remember that no situation is perfect and even if I went home I would have blue days. Frankly I should probably just quit my complaining and make the most of my situation and put a smile on my face, after all I do love my job and I don't have to worry about money right now which is a first.

Its weird though, I never thought I would miss America as a country, but I do. I love my country, talk as much trash as you want whether you're American or not but its a great place in comparison to other parts of the world. Nothing is set in stone here, I could very well be living back home in six months, time will tell. Some of the best advice I ever got was from my father, he said, 'if you're not happy, then why are you doing it?', I think about the simplicity of that philosophy and try to apply it in any situation where I feel unsatisfied. I know what I need to know, I only need to decide what will make me the happiest. Just because I might have to go home and live a little tighter financial I could still be happier, eh who the hell knows, for now its bed time in Iksan, South Korea. Good Night Moon.....

Take Four Months in Korea, And Call Me In The Morning

The most beneficial advice I recieved prior to my departure to Korea was from an unlikely source, my doctor. Dr. Thompson served in the Air Force and spent time here and gave great advice that I do my best to live by. He told me explicitely NOT to sit in my apartment, to get out and see the country. I think I've done pretty well at doing so I'be been to the Northern, Southern, and Western borders and shores. Today I had an invite to join some of the Iksan foreigners to see a professional soccer match in our neighboring city of Jeonju, about 20 miles away.

The stadium is rather impressive and held an olympic event and a world cup there as well. Once there we commenced with the suds consumption and great conversation. Its typical for the fans from Iksan to rent battery operated mini-bikes and ride around the front of the stadium.

The cost is a meesly 6,ooo won or less than $5 US for a general admission ticket. The game was a great time and you can see the atmosphere of the crowd from the video above, its a pretty intense match. I'm sure I will go again and my thanks goes out again to the great doctor and his righteous advice. Its bedtime now folks, I have a long day tomorrow :)

A Big Muddy Mess

For the past ten years or so a town named Boryeong has become famous for its annual festival simply named-Mud Fest. For the last couple of years over 1.5 million people show up here to spread this magical grey mud all over their bodies.

The mud is pumped from another location and is put in stations on the beach with brushes to paint yourself. There are also areas with slides and mud-wrestling. Usually in Korea when you get ready to go to some festival or island you become acustomed to being a little let down because its never what you pictured. But the mud fest was actual what I thought it would be. The mud was really soothing in a weird kind of way and I hadn't seen that many foreigners in months.

Barb came up from Busan and hitched a ride with Greggers. Its nice that she's here and I'm sad sometimes that she is so far away but when we do see each other we enjoy each other's company even more.

What are the accomodations?? Well my inquisitive audience of seven, basically you rented a small duplex of 700 sq feet with two bathrooms and slept 13 people on the floor. Even such modest quarters will cost you 30,000 won per person or $24 .

After Brandon, Kim, Barbs, and I all spent the afternoon getting muddy we walked back to the hotel and stumbled into a parade. This parade was

in the middle of the afternoon with virtually no audience. As a Korean man who was marching handed me a flag as though it was the 4th of July and old glory was being presented to a five year old, I realized......

Korea is so bizarre, and to be honest I'm not even surprised anymore by such random acts but I'm also aware that if I ever do land my feet back in the states, I'll miss the strange unorganized feel of this place.

The last experience was waking up next to a complete stranger. Barb, Brandon, Kim and I split a room and when we woke to Erica telling us it was time to leave, she asked about the guy laying next to Barbie. I told her I noticed him there a couple hours ago but had no idea. He slowly woke after hearing inquisitions to his current position. He demanded to know who we were and why we were in his room. I politely asked him to look around and see if he saw anyone he knew, and said I think you may have stumbled into the wrong room bud. He was quite embarassed and stood up in a t-shirt and underwear and said he was sorry and left.

Another weekend, another chapter opened and closed in the novel of my Korean adventure.

As My Mind Wanders.....

At night I ponder my life. I sit in this tiny apartment 7,000 miles from home assuring myself that I'm in the right place. I'm having alot of fun here folks but this phase of homesickness is getting to me. What's worse is when I get this way, I only want to be more secluded. I confine myself to my room and get real grumpy with people. More than a couple of people have let me know that my attitude is quite moody. I think what makes it hard for me is my contacts from home are becoming more loose. Mom and I talk once or twice a week, Erin and I talk every other week, and I talk to my Dad once every six weeks or so.

I know I could make a bigger effort to reach out to them but I still get bummed thinking that I rarely hear from friends back home. I was told that it would happen too, that I would realize who really cared and who could do without my friendship and contact. To top it off my car that I've been letting a family member borrow (w/o insurance) was apparently wrecked two weeks ago. Sounds like it could have been minor but there was suspension damage. I just found cuz Mom didn't want to worry me....

I am going to Thailand and maybe Laos or Cambodia in August. Its really my biggest focus right now. After all, Korea is a stepping stone for me to backpack for a few months. The most exciting part will be doing it solo. Lately I've been reminded of how much Jim Arwood is a part of me, oh how I adore my solitude.

Anyway maybe now I can sleep having put these thoughts down and having buzzed my head (which happens about every 6 months) I feel clean and better about things.

Iksan-Korean Fortress of Solitude

I was riding the KTX for a trip to Costco today and I had a sad moment. I'm on this life journey and I feel a desire and need to be here and travel the world using Korea as my first stepping stone. I knew that coming here would be difficult at times at being away from friends and family would be harder than I could know.

I was people watching Koreans on the train and across from me were two boys one asleep in his mother's lap and another with his head nestled on his father's shoulder. They were both younger than Max is now but it reminded me of Max's smile and the comfort it brings to my heart having him in my life.

I wasn't able to see him often back home but knowing that I will see once once in the next year had my eyes a tad watery. I guess the hardest part is thinking about the way his face changes every day and he grows physically and mentally so quickly at his age makes it hard. I want to be there for him and answer all his questions and tell him stories and make him laugh but I can't.

There are many sacrifices that go with this way of life. I've had dreams lately of friends and I become startled in the middle of the night, when I wake up it's instantly real that I'm not back home and I can't call my friends to go hang out and my day is a little gloomy afterwards. I have had more fun in the last three months than I ever imagined I would have so I am thankful for this experience but people that are thinking of coming should know thoughts of those living this reality. Also, perhaps Max can look online someday and find this and realize how I felt about him and how important his life is to me and our family. I love you Max. I love you Mom and Erin.

Its lonely sometimes but the excitement is more prevalent than the anguish of solitude.

North Korea Shmorth Korea

I know a lot of friends and family are becoming increasingly concerned about what is happening in North Korea. I'm writing this entry to put them at ease and also to share a little bit about what I have learned about the North. I was let in on some of the differences in the North and South today by my students and couple examples are the lack of religion and the cultural differences in language. North Korea is like a home-schooled child, at home with their parents things seem normal but when released into the wild they show obvious signs of awkward dysfunction. If a South Korean attempted to talk with a North Korean, the North Korean would be very confused by the South Korean's lingo and phrasing. North Korean has stuck to its traditional language and has not change much since 1953. South Korea on the other hand has had the western world to influence its business dealings, diplomacy, military, and even education since the end of the Korean War. More specifically the U.S. holds a strong military presence here along with thousands of foreigners that teach ESL like myself.

My students made it clear that Kim Jong Ill would like nothing more than to unify his Korean countrymen into one glorious nation-state but he would dare not do such a thing with American swine infecting half of the peninsula. All the bullshit with nukes and journalist captives is a ploy to get attention from the U.S. (which usually works) and persuade them to politely leave the country (which will never happen). Its really quite simple then, Mr. Kim wants us out and to re-unite the nation. Funny though, I highly doubt these folks want to be a part of his regime. South Korea does just fine economically and with the fall of GM and Chrysler soon to fall, I'm sure the car companies here are about to get even busier.

I just wanted to give you folks a little background of what the fuss is about and that there's no need to worry. I don't know any Koreans that concern themselves with news on North Korea so I don't see that any of you should either. The best comparison I could make is an Oklahomans reaction to a tornado siren, a shrug of the shoulders, possibly check the TV to see if you're going to be in the path and then go on about your business.