I now feel I can fully explain what it means to have a Korean romance. I have been dating a Korean woman here and though for many months it has been casual the last two have seem to become more substantial. The first question I get is, how do you two communicate? Initially, our conversations were very low level and never delved into deep discussions due to a language barrier. With time her ability in English and my attempts at picking up basic Korean allowed us to share more.
Its difficult to date someone when you both have the understanding that your relationship has an expiration date. I am referring to my contract with my job which ends in April and my visa coincides with my contract. So, when the contract ends, I must leave Korea or find another job. This is obviously a constant topic of discussion with us.
My philosophy with this dilemma is the same as my beliefs on living with my Epilepsy. I could hide at my mother's house and live in fear, waiting for a seizure to take my life OR I could do what I'm doing now, live my life, travel the world, jump out of planes or off bridges or any of the million amazing experiences I've gone out of my way to have in the last five years since my diagnosis. I refuse to let possible outcomes control my decisions, whether they be death or the demise of my relationships.
I never thought dating someone from such a different culture would be so stimulating. I know that had I not met her my experience in Korea would not be as meaningful. I feel like every time we meet she teaches me something new, its like reading a book on culture. I hope she is having the same rewarding feeling. Most teachers spend time partying and occasionally dipping into the cultural opportunities that lie here. I'm not saying that I don't have drinks with friends, all I am trying to say is I'm thankful for her. I had second thoughts on trying to date the locals, assuming I would have nothing in common. I knew we would have nothing to talk about. But, as it turns out I was well wrong.
She is as intelligent as she is beautiful. Her English ability has elevated beyond belief, even when I know my pronunciation is lazed and I'm mumbling, she still understands. Is she in uni or what's her job is other usual question. She owns/operates a boutique that sells vintage clothing and she chooses all the clothes herself and works well over 60 hours a week.
One thing that is difficult to understand is Korean family. When dating a Korean as a foreigner you can't expect to meet the family and play farkle on Sundays. Even when Koreans are dating each other, they don't meet each others' family until they have decided to marry. Weird right? Being someone who enjoys being part of their significant others family, this is not fun for me. I do know her brother who is my age and her older sister. She's 28 by the way.
So what to do now? Like I said, after dating for nine months things have progressed. I don't pretend to know what will happen but I'm enjoying time with her now. Even if I leave here without her I know this has been one for the books and I'm glad we are having a good time.
