I went home for Christmas not entirely sure of what I wanted to do the next year. I wasn't sure if I should stay in Korea or come home. I was home for about two days when I dawned on me that I have been blessed to be living in bliss for the last nine months. The most important thing in our lives is happiness. When I was home I felt stressed and the financial burden that America brings. I'm not ready to move on to the real world quite yet.
I'm going to stay here for another year after my contract ends in March. Its time for me to get serious about saving money so I can return home and start some kind of life without the heavy burden of student loans and credit card bills.
Being home in Yukon was to say the least boring at times though I was happy to see my mother. Going to Edmond reminded me most of being with Barbie. That's the biggest memory I have in Edmond. That little house we had was a home and I have far more good memories there than bad. One thing that you have to cope with the most when living abroad is the idea that relationships ending in happiness are few and far between. You think about dating a foreigner and then what? The odds that you're from the same country or even the same state are slim to nothing. Dating a Korean is a difficult task, not one for the faint of heart or impatient. I have found ways to maintain and my happiness is in tact.
Korean culture is very free in many ways. I don't feel the pressure from authorities or my peers. There are good people here for the most part. Living in this town is similar to living in a small country town, everyone knows everyones business but its still a grand time. I do my best to stay out of the limelight but that's not always an easy task.
Basically I'm staying here because ultimately I am happy and my job is very relaxed and fun. I also have the opportunity to make good on my debts, most of which are a reflection of poor choices I've made in the last five years. I think I need to write this blog more, it really is very theraputic. Oh, and my New Year's resolution is to be nicer to my friends. I found in the last few months that I am too sarcastic and rude to my friends. Erica and I were discussing this on the walk home from work last night. I tried to explain that I am that way due to my family's inability to express true compassion, our general way of nurturing is emotional torment. Strange, I know, but we are a family that has been forced to build walls to protect ourselves from heartache. I have witnessed my friends shutdown on my behalf and I'm going to really make an effort to be more positive in life and in my friends lives.
